I wish my Journey could validate everyone with Love

I wish i could celebrate everyone.
I wish my journey could make everyone feel valid. I wish people could see my heart and soul to know that nothing I am devalues them, even if it is different to the way they look, do or feel. I wish they could see I find different beautiful and inspiring. I wish we could all see the human behind the physical form because no matter what we look like we all struggle and this shame and judgment of another story or body makes the struggle that much harder. I wish for my daughters future this could all change. I wish you could all see my mental hard work, my scars of life, rape and abuse like a weight loss journey or a missing limb because the pain and struggle is just as hard. I wish you could all see my work days, my caring for my daughter, my doing life, my I can’t afford a car or house, my doing my best so you could see I’m just like you all. I wish I wish I wish. Today my heart hurts just simply because I feel my pain and your pain and I can’t fix it. So I stand here before you all and say this. Im sorry for those that have hurt you, I’m sorry the world keeps telling you or someone they are not enough, I’m sorry that no matter how many positives there are to you people always find a way to misappropriate you and make you not enough. I have lost count of how many people I’ve met, in the roots of their bodies, repairing the damage done by sexual abuse, shame, society standards and violation. Let me be clear, the human body and energy system are far too powerful to be damaged by these acts—but what is damaged is peoples connection to their own body, to their own knowing of their body as sacred. That connection between themselveses & their body is what must be repaired to heal. Without this they will never fully exist, always being half of who they could be. So today I stand here in honor of you all I am human just like you all and I am struggling too just like you. I love you and remember the only way out is through. The only way through is start with the person in the mirror you. My love and endless gratitude from me to you and please know being you is what the world needs and being you is enough and I salute you Namaste 🙏

Just because I carry it well, does not mean it isn’t heavy

Just because I carry it well, does not mean it isn’t heavy…. I read this quote and it really hit home. After sharing my story in my book Brave Beautiful and Baring it All (link in bio to purchase) My story that includes rape, physical abuse, losing a child, post and prenatal depression made many people start to look at me different. They didn’t just see a girl smiling they saw a glimpse into the weight she is also holding or the hard knocks she endured. They said I didn’t realise you went through that and I am sorry I didn’t respect you, sorry I said that to you….Many of our stories are so deep in shame many of us will never be able to retell them. I know it took me years too and I am still working on some parts. Please remember everyone is carrying a heavy load. Some of us much heavier than we will ever know but that is life. Life isn’t always smiles or sunshine as we see on others. Behind all that it truly is hard and difficult and we all get delivered traumas we didn’t ask for. Everyone carries, sadness, pain and so much more inside. That is why we need to be more gentle, respectful and compassionate to each other….if we know the trauma or not it still exists and people still deserve compassion and love. We must be less judgmental, we cannot judge a book by its cover nor a human by their smile or outside mask. I am too guilty of dismissing others to find out later they battled something and I regretted it immensely. We all need to be better people. This world is full of hard knocks and heavy loads. However what I have learn as I keep healing is they are not a waste of time they teach us something and they remind us of faith. We often think we are missing out on our good life as we struggle but I also realised, we are not missing out on our destiny, we are actually becoming it by transforming through it. The hard times will go as will the good times. Lets show some grace and kindness as we walk side by side, lets spread love and compassion and keep faith for better tomorrows. Namaste
Photo @schamanphotodesign @thejackphotoworld book HERE

Sexuality and Sensuality and Shame

Connection doesn’t come from having sex. Seeing a whole person doesn’t come from seeing their genitals. It comes from seeing them come alive. The animalistic nature will never bring us connection but the sensual nature will bring us connection to ourselves and others (therefore belonging). Just seeing a human naked is a quick fix, you miss all the magic that fills your senses to feel the experience in your mind too. if you don’t have sensuality attached you lose so much magic in life and intimacy it just becomes a human need, sexuality. However, seeing a person turned on and alive by life and their own knowledge of themselves is where life changes. Where we all feel each other and build a connection,, where life comes alive in sexuality and in every day life. Where that first touch becomes fire, where another persons scent ravishes your mind, where your imagination allows you to feel pleasures that have never existed and where your energy for all things great and small becomes alive again from work, to eating breakfast to feeling your body wake up. That sunset becomes awe awesome. That intimate conversation becomes healing and vulnerable and releases shame, That sexual intimacy becomes about discovery and play rather than a quick fix of lust and lives in your mind forever and can at any moment be relieved without one touch or seeing anything but what is in your mind.

Good sexuality, life and relationships and happy humans does not start with having good sex or seeing one naked, as good sex and the pleasure of the human body visual turn on (long term) cannot happen if you do not know your own body and love your own body.

Much of our trauma, our addictions, our challenges and our disconnection stem from not knowing our bodies, shaming our bodies and also feeling inadequate about our genitals and sex. To change our culture we must be able to talk about more than can I see a naked picture, you are porn, this is wrong and this right. We are all made through sex, therefore sex is our creation so why have we disassociate from it shaming ourselves and others and hiding behind these walls judgements, labels, stigmas, untruths and culture barriers.

A good life it comes from us as humans understanding our body and how our body comes alive. Sexuality is apart of that and it comes from us asking each other also what we need and saying what we dont and respecting each others boundaries. Most of us come alive at the start of our relationships and lust because our senses are on but once it becomes norm the mundane life and challenges come back. To have a sustainable healthy life we must know ourselves and speak for ourselves, nobody can read our mind. Sexuality today is shamed often for women but men too, to see their beauty and to express their beauty and own it is when another hates because they feel inferior seeing someone love themselves it triggers them it shakes their truths they were taught. Enlightment is the process of breaking down truths over and over again, unraveling the layers of life, it never stops. What we thought was truth when we were 10 is very different to a teenager and young adult etc. Currently sexually the body, it is always attached to some time of shame and in turn blockages and fear which leads us to project and hurt others.

If we want women to feel less shamed and see the art and them and other humans to own being a goddess or god and to have good partnerships from each other, we must let each other express their sensuality and discover themselves unapologetically not by a look like porn or a demand, but by the way that makes them feel sexy. It could be movement such as running or yoga. It could be dancing. It could be cooking.

Sexuality comes with senuality and coexist. However without allowing sensuality to speak through learning what makes us alive in life and intimately we cannot feel life and we cannot create an orgasmic life. If women and men are too scared to own their beauty because of shame of their beliefs and society the world of sexuality will always be lost to half hearted experiences, disconnection, shame and porn.

Sex, or at least good sex, requires us to talk about it. You can have all the mechanics down, but if you can’t communicate your desire—if you can’t be vulnerable, release shame—the chances of your fulfilling your wildest desires are slim to none. This is what we hear again and again when we talk to sex therapists: Our inability to talk about sex, the body and our needs in both our daily lives and with our partners, is what holds us back from pleasure.

How do we find stillness in our busy lives

How does a busy human bring more stillness in their life. Often many of us feel we don’t have time to meditate etc, so how do we become more mindful? We start by asking the right questions to witness ourselves and see the screen of our consciousness. Our thoughts, our emotions, our triggers, our challenges, our joys, our desires, our wants etc

Ask these questions every morning, before you pick up your phone and start your day. Ask them with the intention of no outcome, just a sense of evolution to becoming you with no look, feel or thought of who that you are now or where you will evolve to.

What do I want?
What am I grateful for?
Who wants to know the answer to who am I?
What is my purpose?
What do I want for me and the world?

What the world doesn’t teach us is there are no fixed answers to any question. The only constant to life is change. We all walk around this life thinking we need to know the answers, however answers are revealed and received in time. Because, we need to live the questions to discover and prepare for the answers. Life will deliver you to the answers but not at a designated time. Often what we see looking back is many of the answers we received we were not prepared for them at the time we received them, but if we had not forced it…the answer could have arrived when we could have been prepared for it.

We don’t need to know the answers like society says, we just need to simply ask the right questions and let them go and unravel in the layers of life.
When you dig a well, there’s no sign of water until you reach it, only rocks and dirt to move out of the way. When you have removed enough; the pure water will flow,” said Buddha.
Don’t try to steer the river.
― Deepak Chopra

What I want you to know

As I sit here on my bed in Europe. Thinking of my Island home and where my life started just me in my essence & my first breath Tasmanian air. I guess the one thing I hope my message brings as you read my words and see me here is this… In all honesty, I think there is no specific formula/way to make ones life change for the better and the world doesn’t change for us. We change. The messiness, the hurt, the ache of life never leaves. I believe in the art of suffering well that’s what I call life, we get stronger, wiser, more compassionate and loving in our actions and thoughts. I think what happens is you just get better at not letting the dark in and the chaos control you. We may not be able to control the people that judge us, the people that love us, life’s circumstances but we can control ourselves. We choose to fight for light instead of darkness, love instead of fear, compassion instead of judgment, observation instead of projection. We learn we can control how we move forward, the way we choose to believe that we are worthy of love and what we put in the world. We can choose to see love is enough and what we were given is enough. We can control how we grow from things. We can control how we suffer.
As my book is about to be in stores tomorrow this is my ultimate wish for you and this is what I want you to know: You are not alone. You are of such inestimable value. Whatever difficulties, obstacles or seemingly insurmountable challenges are overwhelming your life force, they are not permanent, the only constant in life is change, there is a way around, and I hope my works and book will help you by connecting you to the divinity, awesomeness, talents and love that has always been inside of you instead of the fear and chaos that this culture and life bestows upon each of us.

Being Real Baring It All

Yesterday I met incredible @tas_models_co we randomly did a shoot a 5am on seven mile beach a place @eleanorsfight and I played swam as kids. The shoot was my fav style rolling in the sand no edits. I remember in my @blissology teacher training in Bali I often ate sand in my spare time as I did yoga at the sea connecting to me. It’s my place to just move with the earth and water and let go of all the masks that I feel life wants me to wear.
As my book is about to be launched Jan 14 and I’m back home where my life began I want to share a bit for pre order https://www.amazon.com extract from my book…. I first started blogging when I had postnatal depression, both because I felt a need to express myself and I didn’t want anyone else to feel lonely and unhappy as I did. My hope was that when people would see other people, like myself, baring their all with such honesty and vulnerability, that it might make it easier for them to reach out for help and support too. But sharing ourselves and our stories can be hard. It feels uncomfortable and extremely vulnerable to lay bare our innermost selves in public way as we are programmed to worry about what others may think and whether or not they will still love and accept us once they know what we perceive to be our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. “Will they still think I’m smart? Beautiful? Funny? A good person? A good mum? “ (and the list goes on.) The potential reward however is that by offering support and drawing on support of others, so we can harness the collective energy of our peers to help us feel less alone and therefore less vulnerable because let’s face it it can be rough out there at times and we are all in this together.

Thank you all

We lose the wonder because we are challenged by our lives. We get cut open, gutted like fish and left to resurrect ourselves along this journey of life or we sit in nothingness. What inspires me to believe in humanity and what keeps me in love with people is that I choose the later. All things are rooted in suffering. You look at my photos and videos you see smiles or love or something else but do you know where that light and love came from? It came from the physical abuse, it came from the mental abuse, it came from losing a baby, it came from the rape, it came from the judgement of others, it came from getting lost, it came from my struggles that still exist even to today. Suffering yields the miraculous. So be here. Be part of what you’re sewn into. Bloom and blossom where you are planted. Be aware of the awesomeness that you are and realise that without you, the seaming of this mysteriously interconnected world would cease to exist as it is. Hope is never gone, it is just ignored or lost in the chaos of life.
As I am about to embark on a 3 year journey to head home to Australia on Saturday. I want to thank you all. It would not have been possible without you all. if you want to know if you make a difference and social media is real life, well here is the proof. Without you all my book would not have happened you inspired the publishers to read my voice, my flight I would be still saving for to go to Australia after three years of not being home, my yoga teacher training with @blissology would never had happened thanks to his incredible awsesomenss.
So remember not to ignore the hope it is all around everywhere you look. Dont let it get lost in the negativity or chaos. A special thanks to @yogicbynature @amyweckermd and @supermomtraci for reminding me of my worth when I forget it.

My experience of sacred clowns

My experience of sacred clowns

When I put photos of myself out there, I can’t tell you the number of people who are quick to judge. I have also had my photos misappropriated and used by others for their own purposes, which breaks my heart.
In Europe, I can go into a sauna naked with strangers, and we’ll sit and have a conversation like people in any other normal situation. Yet if I post a swimsuit or an underwear photo on social media, suddenly I’m a bad mother, a porn star, a woman of little value and an individual underserving of respect. In the same way, I can be on the beach in a bikini, yet if I wear a short skirt in the street, I’ll be questioned about whether I’m setting a good example as a mother. Less clothing isn’t a crime on the beach and it shouldn’t be on social media, nor does it make anyone suddenly a bad person.
It hurts every time someone puts a label on me when they don’t even know me. How is it that humans can hate so much?
I’ll tell you why: it’s because we all live in fear of what’s different or unfamiliar.
Let’s not project our fears onto others

Why is it that when someone reveals their body, we get defensive or feel the need to criticize them? When someone does something we don’t agree with, why does it hit such a nerve? Why do we sometimes act in ways that are detrimental to our goals and relationships?
The answer to these questions is because deep down these things resonate with an issue that we have about ourselves. You see, nothing external has the ability to challenge or hurt us unless we feel unstable internally.
So let’s stop asking what’s wrong with life and other people, and start asking what we need to change so that these external factors no longer challenge us or have the power to make us act out of fear and hatred. How can you take responsibility for yourself and your life, so that you act from a place of love and acceptance?
Extract from my book coming out Jan 2020 pre order HERE

We are alive by our sense

People ask me about being turned on whilst doing yoga. They ask me when you are practicing are you turned on? I have never found an answer for this to help people understand it isn’t sexual, its sensual, but here goes…. You are alive by your senses, you are alive on all that your body allows you to experience in this beautiful life, by what you can feel, hear, touch, taste and smell. It is a sensual nature that is a lust for life (that discovery phase children often have naturally, that enthusiasm we miss as adults, that I don’t know everything so let me be open to all that is and learn mindset that we lose with age). In terms of today’s society understanding it…..it’s that lust in sexual relationships before one connects to another physical human, where every touch and smell and movement makes our body’s react in wonder and yearning for more and this is what makes magic and what makes true connection in an intimate state if you are with yourself or another. Sexuality is only powerful when you learn to bring alive your senses other wise it’s animalistic (the need to recreate make our species survive). So right now when I move in yoga, fitness and dance clothed or naked I feel my senses bringing lust for life again, nothing to do with sex/sexuality but everything to do with my body being alive and turned on by life, in its most awaken state of life. It is freedom to me and the greatest gift and antidote for me to all problems, my depression, trauma and challenges because all I am is being me, fully, unapologetically alive; experiencing all without an expectation on my shoulders or a thought to imprison me, just being and revelling in the now and its F#@cking BEAUTIFUL to be here and experience it even if only for a moment.