Truth Is Our Medicine

Somatic breathing with @jannerobinson I wasn’t going to post this but Truth is Freedom…
I found a memory from when I was two, whilst I was doing a visualization through @jannerobinson beta testing meet your truth. When my brother was born he was damaged at birth. They tried to pull him out & squashed his head with forceps damaging his eyes. They then pushed him back in & did a c-section. My brother was hard work for my mother due to the damage & she was exhausted. My father never helped her. When she became pregnant with me, she wished for a perfect baby every night whilst I was in the womb. She was on bed rest for 6wks due to nearly losing me. When I came out I became that perfect baby. I slept through the night from the first night. Mom said she did not know she had me till a teenager. When I was 2 in QLD I pushed her teapot down some stairs & broke it. I wanted to be seen, not be perfect. I wanted to make noise not try play small to help others. I wanted to be loved for being a complicated human. My mom was angry when I broke it. Inside I felt like I could never be anything but perfect & hers & the worlds suffering became my responsibility to be fix in my head. I thought as long as I am perfect & do not make a fuss then I am a good person. All I wanted in that moment was my mom to sit with me & teach me about Kintsugi the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws & imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. I wanted her to see me, give me permission to feel & live as imperfect me. But what I was chasing was me to give me permission, me giving me space to be triggered, learn to heal, be messy & take up space. I wanted to be loved not for my masks, ease & grace. I wanted to be loved for my goof, sad, happy, struggling human sides too. So for my whole life I have been trying to make everyone else feel okay for being imperfect & trying to give them the Kinstungi experience but I need to do this for little me too. Nobody ever felt here for me. Now I see I need to be here for me. I am the love I’m craving & it’s ok to be me even if it isn’t perfect.

How I got the Courage to Write My Book

How I got the courage to write my book

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Swipe up to purchase What kind of life would you create if you knew you were enough? I feel vulnerable every day sharing myself, but I want to be real, so I do it anyway. I haven’t got anything figured out. I am just an ordinary girl putting her belief in herself as she is the only one that can create better tomorrows. I know one thing we as humans need to do. That is to stop projecting our insecurities on others. My person doesn’t change because of my outfit, or that I do something that is different to you, your opinion changes me. My truth doesn’t change if you like me or you don’t. It still calls to me & is the only thing that will make me whole. I have learned we wear masks because we want to protect ourselves from being rejected, but being rejected is non residence it was never our home. You don’t control residence so you need to let it go. We are going to be rejected if we do what the world says or not, or wear our masks or not. The reality is though…who wants to hang out with people who don’t love us for us. It’s already hard enough living a life in our bodies with our own internal hate voice, why do we want to hang with the external hate voices too. We wear masks to not let others see us but those masks reject us from us. We are deeply afraid of letting the world see us & yet we are deeply afraid of not living a loving, whole & full life. The masks that we wear, we cut the world short from ever known us & we cut our own life short dying why living, never knowing ourselves. We only live a watered down life for all the world and ourselves to experience. So have the courage to take off your mask & be vulnerable. Live the life you are meant to. There are 7 billion people on earth, you are not alone, nothing real can be threatened & nothing unreal can exist. Therefore anything real you will never lose & if you lose something by being real, it never existed in the first place aligning to you. You cannot lose anyone true to your soul. It is impossible to lose people who love you no matter what you wear or phase you are in or how many ops a daisys you make. You can only lose people & things who are not aligned with you.

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A little about my journey to writing Brave, Beautiful and Baring it All

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What kind of life would you create if you knew you were enough?
I feel vulnerable every day sharing myself, but I want to be real, so I do it anyway. I haven’t got anything figured out. I am just an ordinary girl putting her belief in herself as she is the only one that can create better tomorrows. I know one thing we as humans need to do. That is to stop projecting our insecurities on others. My person doesn’t change because of my outfit, or that I do something that is different to you, your opinion changes me. My truth doesn’t change if you like me or you don’t. It still calls to me & is the only thing that will make me whole. I have learned we wear masks because we want to protect ourselves from being rejected, but being rejected is non residence it was never our home.
You don’t control residence so you need to let it go. We are going to be rejected if we do what the world says or not, or wear our masks or not. The reality is though…

The human form in its skin my wish is to normalise it and respect it

It has been so hard to be on social media & be hated & judged from one post to the next. I still feel anxious sharing my art by incredible photographers like @shotbyshankha & at the same time doing this art has healed me & helped me to see, I am not the shame & judgement I have been bestowed or felt. As I sit here just finishing my family breakfast with friends. I see they love me even with this in my skin share now. No hatred or judgement, like social media, only acceptance. The world has a lot to learn about who we are, one story & our projections on others. One post is loved here by me because of what I wear or the angle is deemed ok & the other post is told I am porn, a bad mother & not yoga or decent. It’s sad the reality is the world outside of us on social media by one post, can decide on my fate & worth… Sharing my art from photographers & my body has really made me think about how we project & damage each other or heal the world. The human form in its skin (naked), we all see differently. That’s ok but my wish would be that we were able to normalise it and celebrate it. I desire that we are able to stop telling others they need to do, give more/differently to us. Instead we thank them for sharing more of themselves & we are grateful to receive their shares that once social media didn’t allow us to. I hope the images of our bodies would tell our story as much as the clothes, projections & masks we wear. That our wrinkles, scars & beauty show a life lived in hope, vulnerability, overcoming & courage in front of others & within ourselves. I dream we could stop always sexualising every persons images or assuming that they are asking for something. Instead seeing the beauty & sensualities as gifts for us to respect & experience. My biggest wish is that we could all shed the shame in the way that resonates with us without the judgment/fear. So we could stop hiding our strengths by using them to cover our perceived weakness. We could shed the stories not by how someone else says they should be written & seen. But by just being, a rewriting of what is yet to be. Stripping down & stepping into who we really are….

I wish my Journey could validate everyone with Love

I wish i could celebrate everyone.
I wish my journey could make everyone feel valid. I wish people could see my heart and soul to know that nothing I am devalues them, even if it is different to the way they look, do or feel. I wish they could see I find different beautiful and inspiring. I wish we could all see the human behind the physical form because no matter what we look like we all struggle and this shame and judgment of another story or body makes the struggle that much harder. I wish for my daughters future this could all change. I wish you could all see my mental hard work, my scars of life, rape and abuse like a weight loss journey or a missing limb because the pain and struggle is just as hard. I wish you could all see my work days, my caring for my daughter, my doing life, my I can’t afford a car or house, my doing my best so you could see I’m just like you all. I wish I wish I wish. Today my heart hurts just simply because I feel my pain and your pain and I can’t fix it. So I stand here before you all and say this. Im sorry for those that have hurt you, I’m sorry the world keeps telling you or someone they are not enough, I’m sorry that no matter how many positives there are to you people always find a way to misappropriate you and make you not enough. I have lost count of how many people I’ve met, in the roots of their bodies, repairing the damage done by sexual abuse, shame, society standards and violation. Let me be clear, the human body and energy system are far too powerful to be damaged by these acts—but what is damaged is peoples connection to their own body, to their own knowing of their body as sacred. That connection between themselveses & their body is what must be repaired to heal. Without this they will never fully exist, always being half of who they could be. So today I stand here in honor of you all I am human just like you all and I am struggling too just like you. I love you and remember the only way out is through. The only way through is start with the person in the mirror you. My love and endless gratitude from me to you and please know being you is what the world needs and being you is enough and I salute you Namaste 🙏

Just because I carry it well, does not mean it isn’t heavy

Just because I carry it well, does not mean it isn’t heavy…. I read this quote and it really hit home. After sharing my story in my book Brave Beautiful and Baring it All (link in bio to purchase) My story that includes rape, physical abuse, losing a child, post and prenatal depression made many people start to look at me different. They didn’t just see a girl smiling they saw a glimpse into the weight she is also holding or the hard knocks she endured. They said I didn’t realise you went through that and I am sorry I didn’t respect you, sorry I said that to you….Many of our stories are so deep in shame many of us will never be able to retell them. I know it took me years too and I am still working on some parts. Please remember everyone is carrying a heavy load. Some of us much heavier than we will ever know but that is life. Life isn’t always smiles or sunshine as we see on others. Behind all that it truly is hard and difficult and we all get delivered traumas we didn’t ask for. Everyone carries, sadness, pain and so much more inside. That is why we need to be more gentle, respectful and compassionate to each other….if we know the trauma or not it still exists and people still deserve compassion and love. We must be less judgmental, we cannot judge a book by its cover nor a human by their smile or outside mask. I am too guilty of dismissing others to find out later they battled something and I regretted it immensely. We all need to be better people. This world is full of hard knocks and heavy loads. However what I have learn as I keep healing is they are not a waste of time they teach us something and they remind us of faith. We often think we are missing out on our good life as we struggle but I also realised, we are not missing out on our destiny, we are actually becoming it by transforming through it. The hard times will go as will the good times. Lets show some grace and kindness as we walk side by side, lets spread love and compassion and keep faith for better tomorrows. Namaste
Photo @schamanphotodesign @thejackphotoworld book HERE

Sexuality and Sensuality and Shame

Connection doesn’t come from having sex. Seeing a whole person doesn’t come from seeing their genitals. It comes from seeing them come alive. The animalistic nature will never bring us connection but the sensual nature will bring us connection to ourselves and others (therefore belonging). Just seeing a human naked is a quick fix, you miss all the magic that fills your senses to feel the experience in your mind too. if you don’t have sensuality attached you lose so much magic in life and intimacy it just becomes a human need, sexuality. However, seeing a person turned on and alive by life and their own knowledge of themselves is where life changes. Where we all feel each other and build a connection,, where life comes alive in sexuality and in every day life. Where that first touch becomes fire, where another persons scent ravishes your mind, where your imagination allows you to feel pleasures that have never existed and where your energy for all things great and small becomes alive again from work, to eating breakfast to feeling your body wake up. That sunset becomes awe awesome. That intimate conversation becomes healing and vulnerable and releases shame, That sexual intimacy becomes about discovery and play rather than a quick fix of lust and lives in your mind forever and can at any moment be relieved without one touch or seeing anything but what is in your mind.

Good sexuality, life and relationships and happy humans does not start with having good sex or seeing one naked, as good sex and the pleasure of the human body visual turn on (long term) cannot happen if you do not know your own body and love your own body.

Much of our trauma, our addictions, our challenges and our disconnection stem from not knowing our bodies, shaming our bodies and also feeling inadequate about our genitals and sex. To change our culture we must be able to talk about more than can I see a naked picture, you are porn, this is wrong and this right. We are all made through sex, therefore sex is our creation so why have we disassociate from it shaming ourselves and others and hiding behind these walls judgements, labels, stigmas, untruths and culture barriers.

A good life it comes from us as humans understanding our body and how our body comes alive. Sexuality is apart of that and it comes from us asking each other also what we need and saying what we dont and respecting each others boundaries. Most of us come alive at the start of our relationships and lust because our senses are on but once it becomes norm the mundane life and challenges come back. To have a sustainable healthy life we must know ourselves and speak for ourselves, nobody can read our mind. Sexuality today is shamed often for women but men too, to see their beauty and to express their beauty and own it is when another hates because they feel inferior seeing someone love themselves it triggers them it shakes their truths they were taught. Enlightment is the process of breaking down truths over and over again, unraveling the layers of life, it never stops. What we thought was truth when we were 10 is very different to a teenager and young adult etc. Currently sexually the body, it is always attached to some time of shame and in turn blockages and fear which leads us to project and hurt others.

If we want women to feel less shamed and see the art and them and other humans to own being a goddess or god and to have good partnerships from each other, we must let each other express their sensuality and discover themselves unapologetically not by a look like porn or a demand, but by the way that makes them feel sexy. It could be movement such as running or yoga. It could be dancing. It could be cooking.

Sexuality comes with senuality and coexist. However without allowing sensuality to speak through learning what makes us alive in life and intimately we cannot feel life and we cannot create an orgasmic life. If women and men are too scared to own their beauty because of shame of their beliefs and society the world of sexuality will always be lost to half hearted experiences, disconnection, shame and porn.

Sex, or at least good sex, requires us to talk about it. You can have all the mechanics down, but if you can’t communicate your desire—if you can’t be vulnerable, release shame—the chances of your fulfilling your wildest desires are slim to none. This is what we hear again and again when we talk to sex therapists: Our inability to talk about sex, the body and our needs in both our daily lives and with our partners, is what holds us back from pleasure.

How do we find stillness in our busy lives

How does a busy human bring more stillness in their life. Often many of us feel we don’t have time to meditate etc, so how do we become more mindful? We start by asking the right questions to witness ourselves and see the screen of our consciousness. Our thoughts, our emotions, our triggers, our challenges, our joys, our desires, our wants etc

Ask these questions every morning, before you pick up your phone and start your day. Ask them with the intention of no outcome, just a sense of evolution to becoming you with no look, feel or thought of who that you are now or where you will evolve to.

What do I want?
What am I grateful for?
Who wants to know the answer to who am I?
What is my purpose?
What do I want for me and the world?

What the world doesn’t teach us is there are no fixed answers to any question. The only constant to life is change. We all walk around this life thinking we need to know the answers, however answers are revealed and received in time. Because, we need to live the questions to discover and prepare for the answers. Life will deliver you to the answers but not at a designated time. Often what we see looking back is many of the answers we received we were not prepared for them at the time we received them, but if we had not forced it…the answer could have arrived when we could have been prepared for it.

We don’t need to know the answers like society says, we just need to simply ask the right questions and let them go and unravel in the layers of life.
When you dig a well, there’s no sign of water until you reach it, only rocks and dirt to move out of the way. When you have removed enough; the pure water will flow,” said Buddha.
Don’t try to steer the river.
― Deepak Chopra

What I want you to know

As I sit here on my bed in Europe. Thinking of my Island home and where my life started just me in my essence & my first breath Tasmanian air. I guess the one thing I hope my message brings as you read my words and see me here is this… In all honesty, I think there is no specific formula/way to make ones life change for the better and the world doesn’t change for us. We change. The messiness, the hurt, the ache of life never leaves. I believe in the art of suffering well that’s what I call life, we get stronger, wiser, more compassionate and loving in our actions and thoughts. I think what happens is you just get better at not letting the dark in and the chaos control you. We may not be able to control the people that judge us, the people that love us, life’s circumstances but we can control ourselves. We choose to fight for light instead of darkness, love instead of fear, compassion instead of judgment, observation instead of projection. We learn we can control how we move forward, the way we choose to believe that we are worthy of love and what we put in the world. We can choose to see love is enough and what we were given is enough. We can control how we grow from things. We can control how we suffer.
As my book is about to be in stores tomorrow this is my ultimate wish for you and this is what I want you to know: You are not alone. You are of such inestimable value. Whatever difficulties, obstacles or seemingly insurmountable challenges are overwhelming your life force, they are not permanent, the only constant in life is change, there is a way around, and I hope my works and book will help you by connecting you to the divinity, awesomeness, talents and love that has always been inside of you instead of the fear and chaos that this culture and life bestows upon each of us.

Being Real Baring It All

Yesterday I met incredible @tas_models_co we randomly did a shoot a 5am on seven mile beach a place @eleanorsfight and I played swam as kids. The shoot was my fav style rolling in the sand no edits. I remember in my @blissology teacher training in Bali I often ate sand in my spare time as I did yoga at the sea connecting to me. It’s my place to just move with the earth and water and let go of all the masks that I feel life wants me to wear.
As my book is about to be launched Jan 14 and I’m back home where my life began I want to share a bit for pre order https://www.amazon.com extract from my book…. I first started blogging when I had postnatal depression, both because I felt a need to express myself and I didn’t want anyone else to feel lonely and unhappy as I did. My hope was that when people would see other people, like myself, baring their all with such honesty and vulnerability, that it might make it easier for them to reach out for help and support too. But sharing ourselves and our stories can be hard. It feels uncomfortable and extremely vulnerable to lay bare our innermost selves in public way as we are programmed to worry about what others may think and whether or not they will still love and accept us once they know what we perceive to be our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. “Will they still think I’m smart? Beautiful? Funny? A good person? A good mum? “ (and the list goes on.) The potential reward however is that by offering support and drawing on support of others, so we can harness the collective energy of our peers to help us feel less alone and therefore less vulnerable because let’s face it it can be rough out there at times and we are all in this together.