Struggling in the darkness to find my light

#fridaysforme for @sian_samantha
I don’t have a challenge for another week. I am heading away Sunday for an adventure on Laines last week of school holidays. I am not online as much but always thinking of you all. It reminded me how that even though we don’t see things they are still occurring. With mental health awareness day yesterday I am posting today because it’s often a day too late. We are all so blinded by the externals we don’t see the hurting hearts and struggling souls behind these posts. We don’t see the anxiety attacks, the fights, suicide attempts, the challenges, the abuse, the depression, the pain and suffering we cause by our hateful words we say here & in life. We miss soo much that changes lives… I hope today you’ll all close your eyes and see with your heart. Reach out to those you love tell them you love them. Be a little kinder here online to those you want to judge. Just because they look happy are they? Just cause they have a beautiful body does it mean life is better? They don’t have insecurities? They haven’t been told they aren’t worthy? Just because they are naked, does it mean they are a bad person? Porn? Or self confident? Just because they look like they have the perfect family, relationship, have it all together, rich, happy are they? Just because you view the world this way does it mean it’s the only way? Mental Health Awareness for me is every day. After committing suicide and failing. It made me see the world very differently because no one saw me and some still don’t see me, no one saw my pain, no one even new it happened and when I told them they ask if I was kidding? This is how blinded we are to seeing peoples pain and suffering. We see the masks, the numbers, the clothes or no clothes, the smiles, the photos and videos but we do not see the soul and pain. There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds and visibly breaks. So many hide their scars with I’m fine and see the world in black and white instead of vibrant colors. So let’s show people between frustration and depression is our love and hands to help each other up again.

Brave, Beautiful and Baring it All: Opening Our Hearts to Happiness No Matter What Life Throws At Us Extract from Book

I first started my online journey when I was in deep post-natal depression (not that you would see that behind these photos or videos). No one saw that I had attempted suicide either it was just another day of a girl posting. After that moment I felt a need to express myself authentically the good, the challenge & truth of me. Why? I didn’t want anyone else to feel as lonely, unhappy & unworthy as I did. My hope was that when people would see other people, like myself (an ordinary girl), baring their all with honesty/vulnerability, showing her struggles that it might make it easier for them to reach out for help & support too. Its been fucking hard & I can’t tell you how many times people opinions / judgments have shattered me, shocked me in their lack of compassion (all walks of life strangers, family, friends, even a community of souls I turned to for their compassion yogis, health &fitness/motivation experts). It feels uncomfortable & extremely vulnerable to lay bare our innermost selves in a public way as we are programmed to worry about what others may think and whether or not they will still love/accept us once they know what we perceive to be our vulnerabilities/weaknesses. I also can’t tell you how grateful I am for all those that have supported me in my journey. Some I have never met & I take my hat off to all you epic souls who are out there being your true, authentic selves, chasing your dreams, owning your failures, trying new things, getting out of your comfort zone, taking responsibility for being the change you wish to see in the world while celebrating others rather than looking at them as competition or judgment/shame. You are the people who make the difference. Please never believe anyone who tells you that you’re not enough. If you ever feel like you’re struggling, remember that somewhere in this world there is a girl called Rhy (that’s me!) – and that this girl supports you & loves you just as you are, in all your bravery,
in all your beauty and even when you “bare it all” – in fact, especially when you “bare it all”! Extract from my book link in bio coming Jan 2020
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07QLJ5NCL?pf_rd_p=2d1ab404-3b11-4c97-b3db-48081e145e35&pf_rd_r=WXX34YWB5GGBAVSBXECQ

You are GREATER than any test, any negative self doubting limiting belief, society standard or any number

You are greater than any test or standard even if your thoughts or others tell you otherwise, you must believe it is your greatest power….
Let me repeat that: You are GREATER than any test, any negative self doubting limiting belief, society standard or any number.
It really doesn’t matter the test score, what matters, is how hard you try. This is why…..
The world needs you to be empathetic and kind. A test doesn’t measure that.
We need to love ourselves and love others. A test doesn’t measure that.
Learning should be enjoyed to continue. A test doesn’t measure that.
Because we all need to treat each other with respect. A test doesn’t measure that.
The world needs people filled with confidence. A test doesn’t measure that.
Our lives need us to discover and try new things. A test doesn’t measure that.
A life lived should be daring and adventurous and full of ops a daisy 10,000 ways not to do that but I have learnt a lot experiences that make memories of a life time. A test doesn’t measure that.
A world needs friendship and each of us to be a friend and the love we wish to see in the world. A test doesn’t measure that.
The world needs creativity to change it. A test doesn’t measure that.
Now, listen, I know that when life is standardising us by a test or a society standard that it’s hard to remember that. I get it. I struggle too. We live in a world of grades and tests, numbers and untruths that only damage us by creating unrealistic society standards.
But this world also understands true value.
And that is what I want you to remember as you read those questions and fill in your answers to any test or as you live your life and fill up your memory box.
You are greater than any test or number or standard.
You are valuable and awesome and a gift to this world.
Not because of a test or your lived up to a standard or a number of expectation.
Simply because you are you.